***TRIGGER WARNING***
This post discusses content that may be triggering (bulimia, depression, ect.) Proceed with caution.
Lately I have come to realize that my recovery is definitely an up and down road, with a few u-turns and detours.
This is to be expected and it is not a reason to give up completely, but there are some coping tactics that have worked for me in the past few weeks. Here is an completely honest list of distraction tactics that I have been using – this does not mean that they are all good…just what I have been doing to either fight the urge to binge eat or purge after a meal or a binge session.
- Smoking. This is the one that has made me the most angry. I was doing so well since February when I had last quit. It has only been a couple of cigarettes so far and I plan to keep it that way. Then back on the wagon I go!
- Driving. Now before I started therapy driving was a big trigger because I would binge eat fast food like nobody’s business. I’m talking $30-$40 each binge and that’s on a good day. However, now I’ve found a couple country roads that I frequently head to when I need to clear my head, crank up my music, and remember that nothing is the end of the world.
- Talking. There was a good 10 years where I didn’t tell anyone about my depression or bulimia. I decided that I was tired of hiding something that had such a huge hold on my life. I was never going to be completely free to live my life fully if I didn’t get help. Opening up about how I’m feeling or when I’m struggling has been one of the best choices I have ever made and I thank those who have listened along the way.
- COFFEE & TEA. When I’m feeling my depression creeping in, a good cup of coffee or tea can make all the difference – in addition to my antidepressants of course.
- Yoga. My mother in law is a yoga instructor and she has been coming over on Thursdays and giving us yoga lessons in the morning. It has been so wonderful and has really tested my belief in what I could and couldn’t do.
- Knitting and Crocheting. I have been knitting for 3 years and crocheting for almost 20 years. I love looking at beautifully soft and squiddgy yarn in the fancy local yarn shops, but my budget is definitely not made for the high end stuff 😉
- PATTERN HOARDING. This is directly connected to #6, but it doesn’t mean that I make every pattern that I hoard. In fact, my pattern que on Ravelry is so long I will never make it to the end. Everyone in my life has a tag with at least 10 patterns assigned to them that have the possibility of being knit or crocheted, but there is no guarantee.
I hope to get some of these done before winter:
Kayla Dyches’ Pearl Clutcher: Magnum
Photo: The Yarn Bearer on Flickr
Photo: DROPS Designs
Photo: Gleeful Things
Susan Carlson’s Happy Harlequin Blanket
Photo: Felted Button
On another note: I have more recently cut my hair after years of having grown in out for our wedding in 2013. This was a little traumatic, but I really do enjoy having short hair. It feels healthier and now I can start growing it out again. However, I have been itching to do the hair styles I have been doing for years and I miss the versatility of my long hair.
My husband offered to let me get clip in extensions that I had looked up online as a birthday/Christmas/Valentine’s Day gift because they are pretty expensive. I’m usually pretty cool not using things like fake eye lashes, nails, ect, but I like to pay extra attention to my hair. A lot of it fell out when I had toxic shock syndrome in 2006 (more on that later) and since then, I have been a little obsessed with trying to get the same volume back that I had before.
I picked out the 220g Mocha Brown Luxy Remy hair extensions and I cannot wait to try them out! Once they come in, I will do an extensive review since I have never used them before. Wish me luck!
Mitts Knits 